Idiots

10 of August

I kicked a can from the street, angrily looking at my distorted reflection in the small pool of water the rain left behind. I had an argument with her... I felt betrayed. Mana just wanted me for my money, which I didn’t even have much. It was a horrible feeling, to know you've just been used. I wanted to shout, I wanted to cry, even if she didn’t even deserve it. While I was walking, I saw Yuuki with Celeste, they were going towards me. –Hey, Peter… you seem down.- She said, I barely could hide the tears, but I managed. –I’m okay… what are you doing here?- I asked, hiding my issues. –I’m going to Yuuki’s house.- Yuuki almost looked embarrassed, but then he noticed me looking to the floor, almost as if hiding something. –I suppose I’ll just grab a bite to eat, I hope you have a nice day.- As I was going, Yuuki stopped me putting his hand in my arm. –Are you ok?- I turned my head down again. –I don’t wanna bother you with my problems, also, I was never your friend.- Yuuki turned his head from left to right. –Never considered you my friend either, but any friend of Celeste’s is a friend of mine.- Was this guy such an idiot? –You just contradicted yourself.- -Did I?- Yuuki looked at Celeste for an answer. –You did.- -Anyway, mind if we make you company?- Yuuki said quickly. –Weren’t you going to hang out at your house?- Yuuki shrugged. –We can do that any other day.-

They hanged out with me at the ramen shop. It started to rain again, and I didn’t know what to say. I told them everything that happened, that I started going out with the part worker over here, and she just scammed me out of my money, always asking me to buy things for her. –Some people are really fucked up.- Said Yuuki. –Don’t worry man, we’ll be here for you. If you have any troubles just give me a call, we’ll go around or something. Might even go chick hunting with my roommate.- For someone I wanted to hate, he made it really difficult when he made me laugh. Celeste hitted him on his arm with her elbow, showing a smile on her face... he really made her happy. –You helped me out a lot toda- I found my phrase interrupted as Mana entered, I didn’t give her the satisfaction of even meeting so much as my eyes. –Anyway, I’m going back to my apartment. I’ll ask my parents to lend me some money and I’ll give it back whenever I can.- I walked out of the establishment, and while I was still depressed due to all the events that happened, at the very least I had something good: people that actually care about me. Both Yuuki and Celeste came after me, or well... Yuuki carying Celeste's wheelchair. -Hey, we'll keep you company until you get home. It's never good being alone in times like this.- I nodded smiling while thinking to myself... why are the both of you such lovable idiots?

What a Wonderful World

20 of June, 2008

I managed to convince Richard to drive us to the beach. He had a driver’s license, so he could do that. She brought her sister María along with him, but Celeste and I didn’t mind. She took a fancy with the girl and started talking about her about stuff. I was in the front seat with Richard, while Celeste and María were in the backseat. -So… do you like any boys, Celeste?- Quite and odd question for a 6 year old to make… Celeste rolled her eyes and let out a “weeeeellll… it’s a secret”. -Sure do get along nicely.- Said Richard. -Yeah, can’t even tell that you’re her brother, she’s so much better than you.- He looked at me with hostility.

As they arrived at the beach, the sun shone brightly upon the sea. Richard parked in a parking spot and we got the things out of the trunk of the car. Celeste went on ahead with Marie. -You sure she’ll be alright? Maybe she can fall if the wheels trip with an stone…- Richard shrugged, grabbing the portable fridge and the towels. -You worry way too much… first time I’ve seen you this attached to anyone.- I continued walking with him, carrying the parasol. -Maybe I am…-

After some time playing with Marie, both Celeste and I had a walk through the beach. Richard was resting on a towel while making sure Marie didn’t go out of his sight. -Such a nice family, he’s your roommate right?- -Yeah, I came here years ago and we’ve been friends ever since. Marie’s actually her stepsister… it’s a long story.- Celeste nodded. -Say… could you carry me?- I stared at the blushing girl, confused. -Uh… why?- Celeste scratched the back of her neck. -Going through the sand in my wheelchair is getting difficult.- I grabbed her from the wheelchair carefully, and sat with her close by. -Then let’s sit down for some time.- The sun was setting and the orange light reflected upon the waves. -I never thought I’d see something so beautiful…- I stood a little bit closer to her and grabbed her hand. -You’ll get used to it, we’ll go to the beach every summer.- She smiled and nodded. -Every summer…- She leaned her face towards mine, our foreheads clashed, and then so did our lips. I

placed my hands on her cheeks, and stood there with her for some time. After our lips separated, I asked her something I wanted to ask for a long time ago. -Would you… go out with me?- She nodded. -You didn’t even need to hear the answer, I think you knew it already.-

Owner of a Lonely Heart

29th of May, 2008

I stood in Celeste’s room, watching from the window how she talked with that guy she met some time before… I didn’t want to recognise it, but I was jealous of him. My mind kept racing questions. “Why him and not me?” “I’ve always taken care of her” “It’s not fair” But I knew it was wrong for me to be like this. I left the room in a sigh and walked through the hallway to get to the hospital’s elevator. I got out of the hospital and wandered the lonely streets of Kazuki.

I stopped at a ramen shop in a business filled street, it was getting dark and I wanted someplace warm to be in. -Welcome!- The waitress shouted at me, dressed in an apron, and she had blue highlights dyed in her hair. It was almost empty, kind of a rare sight. I sat down in one of the tables and waited for my order. -Shoyu Ramen, please.- The waitress nodded and noticed the big, moustached chef. After some time, which I spent watching the news in the TV of the establishment, my soup came. I finished it rather quickly since I was kind of hungry, and I was ready to leave. Before I got up, the waitress left me a fortune cookie. -Isn’t this more of a chinese thing? Sorry if I come off as racist, I’m just… not from here.- She shrugged, smiling. -It’s ok, could you read it?- I bit down the cookie and spread the small piece of paper inside it. “You’re really handsome to be frowning like that” she smiled and walked away… I read the reverse of the paper, and there was a phone number. She looked back at me and stuck her tongue out before returning to the kitchen. -I suppose this day wasn’t so bad-

Just A Normal Day

28 of May, 2008

I was laying in my bed, counting the hours flying by as I waited for Yuuki to come. I stared through the window looking at the hospital’s courtyard, and when I least noticed, someone entered my room. –How are you today?- It was Peter, hand on his hip. –I’m okay, I’m waiting for a friend.- Peter sat down in my bed. –A friend huh?- I nodded. Suddenly Yuuki appeared, entering the room. –Uh… am I interrupting something or…?- I laughed, grabbing the blanket nervously. –No, this is my friend Peter.- Yuuki got close to him and tried to give him his hand. –Nice to meet you pal.- Peter looked uncomfortable. –I’m not your pal.- Yuuki looked confused at how Peter left the room. –Huh… that happened.- Yuuki got close to me and sat on my bed. –So… anything you wanna do today?- I kept looking at the window, thinking of something to say. –I always wanted to see the beach.- Yuuki scratched the back of his neck. –Yeah, that’s gonna be kinda difficult... the town’s beach is pretty far without a car, and I don’t have one, but we could have a walk through the park.- I agreed and he grabbed my wheelchair, helping me sit on it. We went out of the room and traveled outside the hospital’s doors.

We sat in a small bench near the park’s fountain. There were small stone paths that branched out in different directions towards the park, the fountain was in the center. The park was filled with living trees of many colors of leaves, some were spring blossom trees with pink petals. –Since when do you live in here, Yuuki?- Yuuki took a sip from his cola can before answering. –Since a year ago I think.- We kept talking about random stuff, time flied next to him. The first person to not see me with pity, just like another person, not some fragile girl who could break her limbs at any second. –Thank you…- Yuuki looked at me, confused. –Why? I didn’t do anything.- I shyly place my hand on top of his and stared straight in his eyes. –Because I have a really good time with you…- Yuuki scratched the back of his neck. –I’m just me- Yuuki noticed my hand and he grabbed it slightly, soon later he mixed his fingers with mine. –This looks more like a date than anything.- Yuuki laughed –I wouldn’t mind that thought.- I answered.

Goodbyes

Undisclosed, 1996

-What do you mean you have to go?- I spoke, while something began to crept up in my throat. –I’m sorry… someone adopted me…- She looked like she was about to cry, I held her close to me. –It’s okay… at least you found someone who will love and take care of you…- She started crying, it was such an unsettling sight… she took cover in my chest. –I’m going to New York with them… I will miss you a lot…- She slowly started pulling away from me. I put my hands behind my back and starting putting something out from my neck. –Take this… it’s a necklace the man who rescued me left me… it’s a promise that I’ll find you, no matter how much time it takes.- She started crying again and hugged me holding the necklace in her hands. After that day, I never saw her again.

28 of April, 2008

-And that’s all my story.- Yuuki stayed looking at me in awe. He was my roommate in my apartment, and also one of the best friends I’ve ever had. –So… will you see her again?- Richard smiled. –I plan to… next year I’ll go to New York, I know where she lives. The nuns told me her parent’s address. If she isn’t there, then they’ll be able to tell me where she is.- Yuuki layed back even more on the couch. –I never would’ve taken you for a romantic.- I shrugged. –Eh, it’s okay.-  -So who adopted you?- I crossed my arms looking at his eyes. –The man who found me as a baby and took me to the orphanage returned. But that’s a story for another time, tell me about that girl you’re seeing.- Once I asked that, Yuuki couldn’t stop talking. He was something else, and such a blessing in my life. I’ll miss him a lot when I’m gone.

Just Another Day

14 of March, 2008

-The patient is on Room 265, ma’am- The kindly old woman looking for her grandson, who broke his knees playing football left by the elevator. My work was really tiring, almost felt like it would never stop. –Hey there, Minako.- Yuuki came at me, smiling like he always does. –You’re on your break, aren’t you? Want to come with me to have something to drink?- I smiled wholeheartedly. –Yeah, I was just grabbing my things but I helped an elderly woman before, my replacement didn’t come yet so I would have felt bad if I just up and left.-

We went to our everyday cafeteria and started talking. I used to be so shy… I still am to a degree. But thanks to him, I think I can push that part of me aside whenever I’m with him. –So, how’s your day?- He asked, taking a sip out of his cup of coffee. –Same as always… how are you?- I got the handle of the cup and started drinking from it. –I’m really good. Yesterday I took a stroll through the town with one of the patients here.- -I swear to god Yuuki… you're gonna get into trouble one day. Which patient?- Yuuki raised her eyebrows and put on a pensative face. –Room 163 I think.- I’ve met her just the once to bring her food. She seemed so lost. Her face smiled at me but I could tell she was down deep inside. -She looked pretty sheltered.- -That was my first impression as well… she looked so happy when we were hanging out at night.-

When I went back to my apartment, I let myself fall on the bed. I wanted to stop making me like him, but I couldn’t. I felt like someone who knows that she won’t feel loved by the one she loves. I wanted to tell him my feelings, but I never could, and I think I never will be… but in the end, everyone has to move forward with their life. That’s why, even if it hurts sometimes… I will carry on and live every day with my life as strongly as I can. I felt my consciousness fade as I was embraced by the blanket, and soon enough I fell asleep.

Fateful Meeting

13 of March, 2008

I found a job as a cleaner in a hospital. I had night shifts so I always felt a bit uneasy with almost no one here. I got up the stairs since I finished cleaning the lobby and I was going to start doing the first floor, when I noticed a room, numbered 163, still had the lights on. I took a pick and saw a beautiful ponytailed blonde girl. Something inside me told me to enter, so I did. –Excuse me, I couldn’t help but see your lights were on. Are you ok?- The girl was reading with a pained expression until she noticed me when I spoke. –I am alright, sorry… it’s just that I can’t read if I don’t have the lights on. What are you doing here so late in the night?- I laid back in a wall next to her bed, leaving the cart with my cleaning tools outside. –I’m the idiot these people pay to keep their place clean.- I was glad to get a legitimate laugh out of the girl. –That’s rough.- Her eyes shone like the most brilliant star, they were huge and blue like the deep sea. –So… you like to read? I know a bookstore some blocks for here, maybe we could go together?- She laughed again, and I could feel some color appearing in her cheeks while leaving the book on her legs. –Was that an attempt at flirting?- -Only if it worked.- She pointed at her wheelchair, parked in the other side of the room. –Sadly, I can’t go myself.- I nodded, understandingly. –Well… when I finish my shift, maybe I could take you for a late night walk and show you around.- She smiled widely when she heard me. –I’m in your hands… by the way, you were too busy flirting you didn’t even bother to know my name.- I leaned a bit closer to her. –Then what is YOUR name? Mine’s Yuuki, Yuuki Nozomi.- Her eyes met mine halfway through her answer. –Mine’s Celeste, Celeste Lodestar.-

Memories

Undisclosed, 1992

The orphanage’s playground was as loud as ever, I always just got away from all the noise and played with some LEGO the nuns gave me. That was until one day I saw a girl being bullied by other kids, who took her teddy bear and didn’t seem interested in returning it. My 6 year old self got up and walked to them. –What do you want?- Said one of them. –Give it back.- The girl was crying and looked at me with a face unlike an angel. –And who’s going to make me?- My fists subconsciously clenched, and next think I knew I was on the ground and filled with mud, since it rained the day before, hitting the kid in the cheek. –Okay, okay! Please, stop!- He gave me the bear, but I got into trouble. A nun saw me and started ranting at me. I gave the bear back and I held the hand of the nun, she was getting me into detention. On the way there, she let out a phrase. –Kids who don’t behave have a hard time getting adopted.- I let out a uncaring sigh. –If my real parents left me on the side of the road and didn’t want me, who says another family will…?- The nun looked at me with pity. I got used to it.

After I left detention the girl with the teddy bear was standing before me. –What are you doing here?- The girl was the first one to not look at me with pity, the first one to just… smile at me. –I was waiting for you… I always see you alone and I wanted to try to be your friend.- Richard looked down, almost insecurely. –I… sure… what’s your name?- The girl smiled at me, her lips beaming with happiness. –My name is Rebecca Leerence. What is yours?- I stared at her right into the eyes and answered. –My name is Richard… Richard Royce.-

Celeste

15 of December, 2007

I sat in the car, with the help of my mother, who pulled me off from the wheelchair and got me into it. She put my wheelchair on the trunk and told the driver, who was my only friend, named Peter, to start driving, and we started moving. –I heard Kazuki is a great village.- said my mother. –Too bad I won’t see much of it.- I said, faking a smile. I hated my life. This brittle bone disease made me cursed. I can’t do pretty much anything without worrying if my bones are going to shatter. So even if I’m already old enough, my parents don’t let me leave anywhere. I’ve spent all my life traveling from hospital to hospital. I always wanted to travel so they always take me to different places… but what is traveling if you can’t ever enjoy the places you go to? And since I was lonely, they made Peter meet me. He’s a nice boy, but I wish… I just wish I could do friends and move by myself. In time I just saw the hospital as a prison, something that chained me, the windows might as well have bars. –Aren’t you happy, Celeste?- I sighed, looking at the window to see the only inch of outside world I would see for the rest of my life, and told a lie. –Yes, mom…-

Prologue

15 of April, 2009

I stood helpless, as I read the note she left for me. I couldn’t believe I wouldn’t be able to see her smile, her eyes meeting mine... all those irreplaceable moments, and they all went away in a single second. I started crying and I sat in my bed. I wanted to seek solace, an arm to hold on to for the time being. But I could but only lay in my bed staring at the ceiling, wondering why this had to happen to me. The only things that ran through my head are the many things that I wanted to do with her that I can’t now. She left, and there was nothing I could do about it…

My phone rang and I grabbed it in a hurry, it was Richard so I answered. -… Hello?- I said, expecting a reply from my best friend. –I read your text… man… I’m so sorry.- I cleaned my tears from my eyes while trying to stop crying. I only offered silence, no reply came from my lips. –Hey… we could get you a ticket to come to America with me for some time… you don’t have to answer now, but I don’t think being alone is what you need right now.- -Alright… it’s pretty late here, I’m gonna try to go to bed.- Richard didn’t seem too convinced, but he understood nevertheless. –Try to sleep and think about what I said… it pains me seeing you like this.-

I put the blanket on me and I closed my eyes. Who knows, maybe tomorrow could be a better day.